Pearl at Interesting Observations wrote a wonderful post on how she chooses to be happy. In the post, she includes a happiness quiz, some statistics on (US) National happiness, and her own words of wisdom, including these:
By changing the way we think, by changing our outlook on life, we can control and even improve our attitudes and our actions and hence the outcome. If the result of our well thought out actions is not the one we were expecting, then we need to work on changing our perceptions.. I believe when we engage ourselves consciously in making a decision to choose, it empowers us with that unseen but definitely felt strength. And when we are empowered, we are automatically happy.
and
My practice of coming out of one state of mind into another state - of relaxation - leads me into being happy and content. So being happy or content is choice available to all us and we can either choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Everyone has to find his or her own way of getting to that state. It is an emotion that we can create with our thoughts. We act upon our thoughts and these thoughts then become our experiences. And, whatever we focus our thoughts on, expands, doesn’t it? Think positive and you will have positive experiences.
From what I’ve seen, thinkers on the topic of happiness divide into two rough camps: those who agree with the statements above and those who think happiness is fixed to a set-point. Most likely both are true to varying degrees, but my experience leads me to agree largely with Pearl: change you thoughts and your feelings will follow.
What has your life taught you? Do you agree with Pearl? Disagree? Do you have a different perspective altogether?
Subscribe!
hmm I was expecting to hear agreements/disagreements or something
do you have any idea how to lure the lurkers to comment? Guess not many are interested in a full fledged discussion about being happy these days
they are all blogging about blogging…:)
I believe happiness can be a purpose as long as it is not an escape from unhappy feelings. Both states arise without bidding as the result our activities. I have found that the more I pursue happiness the further away it runs. However the changing of my perceptions of negative feelings has made the duration shorter and less evasive. I enjoy both states. One because it just feels good
and the other to recognize the results of my activities. So I agree that working on perceptions is effective but I do not agree that it is a choice. It is a result. The choice lies in my actions not the feelings.
So working on perceptions (which essentially is our own way of looking at things) - is a choice.. which can lessen or shorten the negativity (or negative feelings) and hence creating relaxed mind leading up to happiness - so yeah you are right Peter - choice does lie in our actions TO create happy feelings :=) just the play of words i believe, but we all agree we can change circumstances if we choose to do so.
I think part of the trick here is figuring out what to do with thoughts.
Of course, this assumes we consider perceptions to be thoughts, so let me back up a second. Perception seems to refer to … what… collections of primarily unconscious thought? What do you think?
So back to my original point: It’s fairly easy (I think) to see that we can change our actions and that we cannot change our feelings (directly). But thoughts/perceptions are neither feelings nor actions. They seem to have characteristics of both; we can change them, but we cannot change them easily.
The trick, then, seems to be bringing unconscious (here negative) thought into our awareness. Once we can see our negative thinking, it’s easier to change it. At least this seems to be the gist of cognitive psychology, which I’ve been using with some success to lift my depression (and which is the source of much of the exploration on this blog–’exploration’ being the key word).
@Peter
I’m intrigued by your comment that the more you pursue happiness the farther away it runs.
This seems obviously true for the person trying to achieve happiness by changing the world (or themselves), but I hadn’t thought it true for my pursuit.
Now I wonder. My tactic right now is to reshape my habits of mind so that I start to notice the good things I have (and so no longer feel a need to chase). However, ‘reshape my habits of mind’ sounds a lot like ‘if I could just change myself, then I’d be happy.’ And that’s the very thinking I want to move away from.
Hm.
The problem with feelings is that we automatically associate with mental states. then it becomes a problem that we need to resolve. Feelings by themselves don’t generate actions it is our judgement of those feelings that cause us to spiral deeper with the thoughts adding fuel to the fire so to speak. Then our mental state reflects this and our body responds. Mutal reinforcement. Feelings by themselves fade without fuel. So when we chase or try to alter feelings we keep the state alive and takes over our thinking. I know I am getting long winded here :). I also have suffered from clinical depression and can understand your desire to fix the problem. When I engage my self in action of doing what needs to be done and letting feelings arise and fall as they will. I use negative feelings just to say check out am i overtired, didn’t eat properly, could have handled a situation better etc I seem to have less wild swings. Just some thoughts. My post tomorrow will touch on it and a future post on subconscious probably next week as well.
A paradox seems to be arising from this. Namely:
1- When we let our “feelings arise and fall as they will” our mood swings are less wild (which sounds like contentment, a strong factor in my definition of happiness)
2- Trying to be happy pushes happiness away
3- But I’m trying to be happy by learning to let my feelings arise and fall as they will
I’ll think about this and perhaps post about it later. Thanks (as always) for your insights, Peter.
oh wow!! I missed all of it - need some time to grasp this deep stuff
although the deeper and the more complicated we make it, playing with words, tougher it gets.. happiness is simply the attitude..
i think each and everytime there is a hint of sadness or depression or some negativity, even though it takes extra effort to shake that feeling and get back to ‘normalcy’ especially during these times, think of those who are less fortunate than us, the ones who have nothing to call their own, no food no water no shelter.
I am not saying I dont get depressed or unhappy, as a matter of fact, who knows? I may be seriously depressed right now!!
but I do want to try to override that with that smiley I just put there 
and remembering that I am fortunate to have been blessed with all that I have! Relationships (still there or lost, because each of them taught me something), material comforts that many in this world dont have!
If I was worried about the very basic needs that I start taking for granted, depression would become totally a secondary thing for me!
what say?
When you have nothing and totally focused on staying alive you are right you don’t have time for depression. I have been homeless in my life and happiness can be getting a meal or a safe place to sleep. Your perspective changes as you gain things and a “loss” can happen. When you have nothing everything is a plus.
so may be we need to start by learning to detach ourselves from materialistic comforts… at least not take it for granted they will always be there and try to focus on gratitude.. I am sorry to hear that Peter - but seems like you have turned your situation around 180 degrees .. and I am very happy for you…
Pearl i offer a perspective that has helped me. The problem with possesions is that we equate them with self-worth. Granted some more than others. I have the perspective that everything in my life is “on loan”. If I wish to “pay” the price of having it. It is my choice. The price is attachment and potential loss and the maintenance costs for keeping it. This includes not only possesions but beliefs and thoughts. This perspective allows me to question beliefs and possesions and their costs to me. The loan aspect allows me to realize that all possesions are temporary and it is natural to “lose” them and therefore I have no sense of loss with associated feelings more of a temporary inconvience that I get over very quickly.
Amen to that
I like that …